If spanking teaches a child to be reactive instead of proactive why use it in child rearing at all?

The pressures of today's world are quite different than when I was growing up. I see kids really needing to develop skill sets to become healthy, productive, and law-abiding citizens of this country. More and more they need to be able to learn to think for themselves. We as parents need to give them really good tools in order to be able to do this. They need a) critical thinking skills b)creative problem solving abilities C) effective communication skills, particularly effective listening. In short, the world has become increasingly more competetive. We are short-changing are kids by using simplistic methods of child rearing like spanking. WE are not helping thm be ready for what's to come.


I'm not an advocate of corporal punishment to begin with, but I feel even more strongly about it with today's children.





Kids need to be taught how to think, not what to think.





I'm also a firm believer in the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", by Stephen Covey

If spanking teaches a child to be reactive instead of proactive why use it in child rearing at all?
I agree 110%!!





Spanking doesn't teach anything. Any kind of discipline can and will be effective if consistent. These parents just do what their parents did. It's a never ending cycle of abuse. The excuse "My parents did it and I'm okay." is getting old. I think parents should really reach out and think about what they are doing instead of just going the easy route.





People think that everyone who doesn't believe in spanking agrees with Dr. Spock. Guess what? I do not. I do not agree with most things Dr. Sears does. I am a strong willed parent and stubborn--it's my way or the high way. Does that mean I have to hit my child to get the point across? No. It means I give my children other sources of discipline.





Why does spanking "work?" I believe it works because that is the only consistent thing that parents use. If a child is used to being hit and is scared of that then they'll laugh when you put them in time out. There are far to many great resources out there to get tips for children--young children on discipline. You have to start young this way kids learn from a young age when what "no" means.





Good question!
Reply:Vato and Hutch gave me great answers. Hutch I'm in agreement with your answer also. If I had a choice you would be a close runner up (9 points). I strongly beleive in being positive. Report It

Reply:Beating and spanking are two different things, I was Beat as a child jus because mom's havin a bad day. Give kids choices and let them understand that if thier decision is not positive then there are consequences (just like if mom and dad don't pay the cable bill you'll have no cartoons) just for example. Kids can grasp this as early as two years old with simple tasks such as if they don't finish their cheerios they can't play with their favorite car or watch their favorite movie. Now, I don't believe in corpral punishment either but I do spank my son or put him in time out. Y? Compare a kid that has choices vs punishment and see which one is emotionally stronger, the one that had choices is going to be emotionally more stable because he know that for every action there is a reaction and if that action is bad, then the reaction is going to be right behind it. Now I DO belive that some kids just don't respond to raising your voice and 'the look' and thats because some kids don't respond to anything but a spanking. That is my son, I can yell, I can speak in a normal tone, I can get mad as a hornet, but he's 2 and he's learning his limits and how far is too far and thats normal development. He knows that if he squeezes his juice box all over mommy's table the consequence it going to be a firm spank and he will clean it up himself (with help of course), but he's learning to be responsible even if its just little stuff. But thats jus tmy personal opinion. Older kids are harder because they've already learned to think the way they ahve and in order to change that you have to reverse the training they've already had. A beaten kid will most likely respond better to a beating but it doesn't mean he NEEDS to be beat. It means you have to find another way to get through to him. I'm not really sure if this was a question or if youre looking for opinions on child rearing but thats my opinion, for what its worth
Reply:All I have to say is this: Dr. Spock started the no spanking era and guess what? HIS CHILD COMMITED SUICIDE. Does it work? Up to you.
Reply:It all depends on how your spank. I disagree in that, my girls think long and hard before they break one of our core rules, why?? because a spanking is waiting on the other end should they try. I don't know how it is for you, but for us, spanking is NOT a short term solution. I have rarely spanked for the same thing twice, but i can't say that about the other methods. What does all that mean, well in our home spanking has it's place, just as time outs, taking privileges away, positive reinforcement........ We don't just spank and leave it at that, there is a lot of communication, teaching which goes on. We have a very strong family, and I wouldn't change anything we currently do to risk that. If your methods are working good for you then GREAT. Ours do to.





Good Luck
Reply:I am a strong believer in "reality discipline." It is a parent's responsibility to raise children who can function in society when they become adults. When our children are grown, they will be expected to exercise good judgement and self control. Why would we train them one way (by spanking) when, as adults they would be punished in an entirely different manner (financially or with jail time)? And as to time outs, I've worked in child care, and I can say that this almost never works. So the punishment should fit the crime. If my daughter calls names, she needs to find 10 nice things to say about the person. If she broke her friend's toy, she should buy her a new one out of her allowance. If she makes a mess, she cleans it up. If she refuses to clean it up, her belongings are taken away from her until she can respect and care for them. However, there is one instance where I believe spanking is necessary. When a young child who is incapable of understanding the consequences of their behavior is doing or about to do something that would physically endanger themselves or someone else (touching the fireplace, swinging scissors, or playing at the top of stairs, for example), a spanking is a vivid picture to them that what they are doing is dangerous.
Reply:Actually we health care providers and psychologists do not recommend the use of spanking. It is a punishment and we do not believe it is good one of the many reasons Nurses will not say its ok to spank because where is the line that you can draw so the parent knows its too much. You can't. Also spanking a child for doing somethign bad negitively reenforces bad behavior. For instance if the child wants attention he is bad you spank him. The child does somethign good ntohing happens. Next day the child want attention again he thinks oh well why not be bad that way i will get attention. Positive reenforcement for good behaviors is the best way to go about raising a child.
Reply:The "world" is changing? Who cares about "the world" -- have you ever thought of a completely different approach? Teach by precept AND by EXAMPLE. G i v e of yourself. Accept that YOU don't know it all and try raising them uprightly before God. I guess it's more difficult to teach something we don't HAVE. Would you like to "learn it all" and maybe pass a law that we should raise them 'your' way or just have your way taught in all the schools so we'd all be smart like you. Are we grouping a disapproving


swat on the knee braced rear of a 2 or 3 year old followed with love unfeigned with a drunk walloping the back of a 14 year old with a bull whip?
Reply:Philosophy aside, the truth is that corporal punishment works and little else does.





Do you even HAVE children?